I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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