Having a random hookup so left but love u
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
