Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
