Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
