I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
