Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
one two three fourrrrnication!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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