I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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