Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
