yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
