Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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