why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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