It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
