Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
