Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
