Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
