So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
