benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
