We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize