idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
