Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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