The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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