Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
