You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
