that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
