i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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