So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
