summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
