Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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