I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he thought i was a dude.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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