She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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