you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
