is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
