I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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