i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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