Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
