We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
