cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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