I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
