she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
