yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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