He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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