I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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