I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
