Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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