Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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