Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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