Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
where am i from again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
