So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
