We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize