Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
