We won't sleep together?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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