That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
