is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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