I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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