Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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