come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
