the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
