Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
