So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
